(Spoilers ahead for the all of Game of Thrones up to the latest episode, you have been warned.)

Action sequences are relatively common in Game of Thrones.  From high scale battles like the Battle of Blackwater and Castle Black to duels where beloved characters seem to lose more often than not, violence can be almost assured each episode, adding a thrilling sequence that threatens characters we know and love.  This week we were treated to a couple of action sequences, with varying levels of intrigue and emotion.  Most viewers probably didn’t think Bronn and Jaime were gonna get dropped by a few Dornish scrubs, but the entire fight involving Grey Worm (captain Unsullied) and Barristan Selmy (that other old guy that hangs out with Dany) was built up to be suspenseful, and ultimately delivered.

Now, here’s the underlying thing about Game of Thrones that we’ve learned through 4 1/2 seasons:  not everyone is truly as vulnerable as the show would want you to believe.  Some people are currently untouchable.  Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But they killed off Ned Stark, the star of the whole show.”  Yes.  They did.  Most of the deaths in Game of Thrones conclude story lines to create room for new ones.  And while most people couldn’t have predicted that characters like Robb and Cat Stark would be subjected to a drive-by, their plots weren’t absolutely dire.  Robb dies and people are sad, but all that means is he can’t avenge his father or rule the North.  Joffrey dies and people are happy, but it makes sense, since King’s Landing needed a shake up.  If Dany dies, you feel like a huge section of the plot was absolutely pointless…that’s not shocking, that’s frustrating.  That’s infuriating.  And most importantly, that’s bad storytelling.  So, for the current future, Dany’s life is not in danger, even if her state of well-being isn’t necessarily promising.  But that list of untouchables is shockingly short.  Dany and Jon Snow are probably the only two completely untouchable characters.  And I wouldn’t bet on Arya, Sansa, Tyrion, or Cersei dying anytime soon.  But Jaime?  Probably not, but who knows?  Even people seemingly building to something could die.  Littlefinger looks poised to be a major villain, but his death could spark Sansa to become a major political player.  Sacrificing a character to motivate or intrigue another is a classic plot device.  Currently, it seems as though a lot of people are being isolated, and now seemingly losing Barristan Selmy and perhaps Grey Worm, Dany is looking weaker than ever.  This should work out nicely for the approaching Jorah and Tyrion to bulk up her posse…if she isn’t mad that one betrayed her and the other is the son of the man responsible for killing her family.

And Margaery, dear Margaery.  What did I tell you about pissing off Cersei?  Bone Zone.  Well, the pleasantries are over and the swords are out.  Cersei started by granting Mace Tyrell the opportunity to travel to Braavos representing the King. And how nice of her to send Meryn Trant with him!  I wish I could buy stock in someone clumsily falling overboard with concrete for shoes.  Speaking of the Bone Zone, Loras Tyrell also got arrested because homosexuality goes over about as well in Westeros as it goes over in Qatar.  And when King Tommen the Brave and Ruthless walks over to bitch out the High Sparrow to assist his demanding (and extremely attractive) wife, he turns into more King Tommen the Let’s All Just Get Along and Nobody Stab Anyone.  Doesn’t have a good ring to it.  The best part of this subplot is Maergary saying she’ll contact Olenna.  For those of you who can’t recall the name, Olenna is Maergary’s grandmother.  You know, the one that fucking killed Joffrey.  Take it away, Martin Lawrence:

Meanwhile, in Dorne, Jaime proved much more adept at catching a sword with his hand than the Hound did.  I’m liking the Jaime and Bronn partnership.  But I can’t help but worry that this is Bronn’s swan song.  You don’t introduce an entire new family to be bug bait.  And the Sand Snakes aren’t fucking around.  Let’s recap, shall we?  A ship captain offered one of the Sand Snakes information for a fee.  Obara, taking offense to the notion that she had to pay for information in her own land, took him prisoner, buried him up to his neck in sand, and put a basket of scorpions on his head.  It’s also probably like 100 degrees out there, which I’m sure is the least of his worries.  Especially when the most of his worries definitely included getting a spear chucked through his dome.  Good luck, Braime!

Quick interlude to the Wall…

Melisandre: Jon, we need you.

Jon: Nah, I’m good.

Melisandre: What if we bang?

Jon: Nah, I’m good.

Melisandre: C’mon, I’m your type!

Jon: Nah, I’m good.

Melisandre:  I know you wanna bang!

Jon: Nah, I’m good.

Melisandre:  You know nothing, Jon Snow.

Also, as much as Stannis has a pretty serious case of Westeros Asperger’s syndrome, his devotion to his daughter was touching and I’m not going to make jokes about it.  What, no, I’m not crying!  Moving on…

I could watch Tyrion plead to be untied all day.  It’s such a classic little brother move.  Anyway, things are not coming up on Jorah’s end.  At least the dude is keeping his pimp hand strong.  Speaking of pimps, after a little history lesson about Lyanna Stark (which will surely not be at all relevant to the overall plot), Littlefinger is bailing on Sansa and she is on her own.  Obviously, the Don has his own agenda, but I was surprised to see it included leaving the offspring of the woman he loved all his life in the hands of Ramsay Snow.  I’m sure she’ll be fine.  Wait, what’s that Ramsay?

That’s it for this week, and remember, if you’re going to enter a jousting competition, try not to go against the Mountain.