Okay.  So, that break was longer than expected.  Sure, I can say that it was because I started taking classes to pursue a Master’s, or because my job ramps up in the summer, but those are just excuses.  Truth is I’ve had nothing to write about and haven’t bothered really buckling down and trying to come up with something.  Honestly, I was very close to writing Neville Longbottom: Vampire Hunter only partly ironically.  Not a joke.  I got a good plot laid out and honestly…nope, still a horrible idea.

It’s really hard when Game of Thrones isn’t on.  Seriously, when your favorite show currently airing is about an alcoholic scientist that routinely gets his whiny grandson in terrible predicaments, it becomes pretty difficult to write a blog about what you’re watching.  But honestly, I could write recaps of all the comedies I’m watching.  But most of them I can do justice to in a sentence.  Rick and Morty is a great show if you’re an immature person that enjoys dark humor.  You’re the Worst is the comedy of my generation that no one is watching, though it is currently trying to re-find it’s footing after a great first season.  Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s first episode was decent and Gina Linetti is still one of my favorite characters on TV for reasons I can’t explain.  And Dr. Who’s pilot episode was…well, I can’t say anything that will improve this.  So how do you make fun of shows that are already light and funny?  You can’t really.  But there are a lot of shows I don’t watch that people constantly tell me I’d love.  Here’s why I don’t watch your show:

Mad Men

Everybody LOOOOOVES Mad Men.  Oh man, Don Draper, the suitcase, hot red heads, smoking indoors…this show has got it all.  You know what it doesn’t have?  Happy people.  Why does everyone have to be so angry all the time?  You’re all rich people getting hammered and doing drugs, stop being so mad.

Orange is the New Black

What’s Donna from That 70’s Show doing in a prison?  And why isn’t she like 63?  Is she a time lord?  I also already watched Oz, and I imagine they’re basically the same show.

Downton Abbey

It’s tremendously hard for me to watch anything British that doesn’t include magic, dragons, everyday office work, or a sociopathic detective that’s most endearing quality is being best friends with Martin Freeman.

How to Get Away with Murder

Uh, shouldn’t we be setting a better example for the kids?  My mom wouldn’t let me play Grand Theft Auto until I was 17, and look how I turned out!  (Okay, bad example.)

Empire

More of a Rebel Alliance guy myself, though I thought it was cool they got Terrence Howard to play Darth Vader.

Ray Donovan

My guesses for what Ray Donovan is about:

1. A secret agent with a dark past that gets slowly revealed during his weekly exploits.
2. A sequel to the Omen.
3. An Everybody Loves Raymond reboot where Ray gets put in witness protection and is seeking revenge after the mob finds his family.

Bones

Every time I hear about Bones, all I can think about is this scene from The Town.

American Horror Story

I’m a pussy.

The Americans

Just kidding, no one ever asks if I’m watching The Americans.

House of Cards

Honestly, I’ve watched it all, I just pretend I don’t because it’s easier than saying how terrible it’s become.

That’s it, I promise in the upcoming weeks, I’ll get my shit together.